Stupid and Stubborn

Dear my blog, I don't even know what I'm supposed to write but I just feel and very eager wanna write. So here it is. I'm writing and keep writing without any topic or idea to share. It is all because of my stupid and stubborn heart. What my heart did to me? Ask itself.

Stupid and Stubborn heart of mine

I went for a medical check up in order to beg my heart

My heart continuously agitated my desire to get a person who I will never and ever get and be together with! urghhh... I feel completely trouble and mess. If I keep be like this, defeated by my heart and desire, at the end, I will just be dead (by soul indeed and not body). As Aro, Volturi clan from Twilight series said that, 'A SOULLESS MONSTER' . yeah, probably I will be like Aro said if I can't defeat my own heart and desire.

It all started from I was watching one of the reality tv show. Yeah, I am not really like it at first. But, by time being, it grew well in me. almost everyday I will watch it. Even I was tired, busy, sleepy or what-so-ever, I will spent my time to watch it. And the most crucial point why I did watching it over and over again because of my heart fell for a wrong person.

Why I said that he is a wrong person to fall for? It all because of... :

1) He is a celebrity (as I am only a commoner,Hey! Hold yourself. There's hell a lot of other pretty, beautiful and gorgeous girl, lady and woman out there)

2) He is not from my country (which strengthen my first point up there. Not even that I am ONLY an ORDINARY commoner, but also, percentage for him to acknowledge me and my present on this beautiful earth are 00000000.00000000000......% -,-'')

3) He is not a Muslim (this point really really really really..... the most powerful point rather than others. How can I marrying a man or 'namja' who are not in same religion with me? As if he decide to be a Muslim, but, if only because of want to marry me, uh-uhh... Nope, and DEFINITELY no! To be a Muslim where I meant that who are non-muslim, the reasons to be Muslim must be pure and sincere because of Allah swt. And NOT because of love which also because of desires and wants.)

I think, it is enough only with 3 points. Even ONLY with these 3 points but still, it powerful enough to beat and kill me, leaving me half dead.

I just hope my heart hurry get over or stop agitated my desire and wants which cause unstable emotional / feelings of mine.



I will never and ever stop begging my heart for hurry get over this person or STOP agitated my desires and wants. (TToTT)

Sincerely begging and begging and keep begging for my stubborn heart to stop fell more deeper than now,